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I have a whole gallery of cover for ebooks! Quick and easy 😉

 

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Hemlock Grove (spoilers) And strong opinions. Strong, strong opinions.

Or, why Netflix should NOT DO SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN.

Apparently, this is the writing process for Hemlock Grove.

“Here’s a book that would make an awesome TV show.”

“Okay, cool. But we’re going to make some rewrites and screw shit up exponentially, since the source material would never, ever be good enough.”

“Great. So, our show is going to be about genetic modification, mad scientists, Frankenstein, werewolves, slut-shaming she-werewolves, horny teenagers, vampires, teen angst, teen pregnancy, angels, supernatural visitations, crazy people, witches, gypsies, psychic abilities, horrific fake accents, spirit-walks, and boobs.”

“Yeah, can’t forget boobs!”

“All righty, then. I think that’s all the writing we need to do. Let’s start filming now.”

It had potential. Really. And then…no. Famke Jenson started talking. What the heck?? That accent was ATROCIOUS. It sounded horrible! It sounded like she was TRYING to sound like a wicked witch in a Disney movie.

Then other people started talking, and it sounded like the writers were channeling the original Dark Shadows. The only character I liked was Peter and his mom. Everyone else was pretentious, over-acted, so, incredibly, painfully stereotyped it HURT. The cold-eyed prince with the dark, dark secret. The psychiatrist in need of a psychiatrist. The giggling mad scientist. The evil queen surveying her crumbling empire. The angelic, too-good-for-this-world female. The shifty-eyed, angsty, hide-behind-her-hair nutjob channeling Nadine from Stephen King’s The Stand (heavens, somebody else tell me they noticed that too?). The spooky psychic with the ominous, enigmatic warnings.

Would it hurt to inject a little originality into a series, which had a WORLD of opportunities and potential at its fingertips?

Or how about answer all the questions? Why does Shelley glow? Why exactly is Ouroboros? What happened to Shelley? What was the stuff Olivia dripped in her eye? WHY DOES THE LITTLE GIRL HAVE AN EFFING TAIL? Why did cutting off the tail kill her? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT LIL’ VIGNETTE? Why was there supposedly all this animosity between the Godfreys and Romanceks, but moms and sons were buddy-buddy after a couple of heart to hearts? If Olivia was a vampire, why was she in the steel mill, puking up half-chewed meat, but later claimed the body left there wasn’t her work? And–OMG–what sort of hospital ANNOUNCES A PATIENT HAS DIED OVER THE INTERCOM? How did Roman not know he banged his half-sister/cousin? Why wasn’t the “He’s your real father” investigated or expounded upon further? And there were half a dozen more that just sort of fell by the wayside as the series got caught up in itself.

Also, wha about the dragon stuff? We have the religious werewolf slayer Order, then we have Shelley and the bum spouting poetry about seeing dragons, and then at the end, Olivia says they are not warriors, they are dragons, yet none of them tie in together, nor do they relate to one another!
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Joe Tofuri’s Lobison


I always love seeing the final product after I create a cover for an author! This one is no exception. This is one of my favorites–I did all the work by hand with very little digital help. 

Check out Joe “Tuffy” Tofuri’s novel, Lobiso´n. It’s available on amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Lobisón-ebook/dp/B00AK06Q58/ref=tmm_kin_title_0

Here’s the blurb: 

JACKSON KELLER spends half his lifetime hunting and killing packs of ferocious werewolf-like beasts called Lobisóns. His nemesis is the fifteen feet tall, almost two thousand pound Alpha werewolf he nicknamed POPPA – the first of the Lobisón bloodline, and their king. It was Poppa’s vicious pack that slaughtered Jackson’s Marine platoon leaving him the sole survivor.

Bent on revenge, Jackson tracks Poppa to the small town of Morgan Falls. It is there where he and a small gathering of townspeople barricade themselves within a church to defend and protect a pregnant woman’s unborn child from Poppa’s savage wrath. According to the lore of the beast, the unborn child is the last of the Alpha Lobisóns to be born and Poppa must raise the child to continue their bloodline – and the battle between man and man-beast is brutal.

As the fight rages on, Jackson finds himself face-to-face with the Lobisón king. What will it take for him to defeat the giant beast and end his reign of terror…and what will happen to the newborn Alpha Lobisón child?